The Only Way is Up… Here We Come Christmas

Well? How was it? How was Thanksgiving? Are you ready to do it all over again? I had a doozy of a Thanksgiving. As I might have mentioned, I have been celebrating my 50th birthday for a few months. My actual birthday is Thanksgiving week, and sometimes even on Thanksgiving. So most of the time we are with family. We went to Port Aransas with my parents and some friends. We rented condos next to one another, and my friends brought down their little Casita RV to try out some beachfront, well… parking, I guess. All seemed right on track. Little did I realize, nothing was on track.

Lanna’s eye had been bothering her, and after a wormhole on the internet, I was convinced she had glaucoma and raced her to an ER vet in Corpus. Now, I am not sure how familiar you are with the whole Port A/Corpus area, but this ER is THE only one for miles and miles. You do not want to be here ever, but especially not during Thanksgiving week. I walked in, calm and cool. They had snacks, and I did partake in one of their fine selections of crackers. I nestled in for what I knew would be a very long wait.

Eventually, I was seen; Lanna was diagnosed with a corneal ulcer, and we were given eye drops. We were on our way, and her eye would be better in no time. That is what I thought. That wasn’t the case. Now I am going to race through it all really fast. We had 5 ER visits during our 2-week stay in Port A. Her eye never healed; she was put on more meds, we were told it was healed, we came back, and it wasn’t healed. We played a game of who said it was healed; we were sent back with more meds, visited again when she wouldn’t stop sneezing, she inhaled fuzz, and her nose had to be flushed out under anesthesia.

Actually, we are still dealing with this eye currently. We eventually made it back to Austin, and we are now in the care of a proper ophthalmologist. I haven’t left her side because she can rub her face even inside a cone. The good news is… I am well-versed in Big Momma’s House 1 and Big Momma’s House 2, Big Daddy’s House 1 and Big Daddy’s House 2… and the list goes on. BUT WAIT! We are not done.

Let me take you back a little to Thanksgiving Day again. I also had my dogs ZuZu and Mooshu with me. For my birthday, my friend had gotten me an advent calendar of Godiva chocolates. My husband had moved the bag holding the Godiva chocolates into our room during a cleanup. I had shut Mooshu and ZuZu in the bedroom to keep them away from everyone and everything. That is when it happened.

Now, I have spent many a holiday with dogs in an ER. When you are in this business, the holidays can be rough. I have always wondered who the idiots were who had to rush to the ER saying their dogs had eaten chocolate. How did they let that happen? Well, now I can count myself as a proud member of this club.

My friend Jennifer went into the bedroom and the calendar had been ripped to shreds. ZuZu is a diabetic, and also a pig. She will use any and all opportunities to gorge herself on anything. She goes through bags scanning for food. She found the calendar, shredded it, and had eaten every one of the chocolates. Well, except one that was in a wrapper in front of Mooshu.

I had finally been pushed over the edge. I was dealing with a dog at work who had lost a tooth, and now Jennifer comes running in to tell me about the calendar. It is Thanksgiving, the turkey is in the fryer, I need to cook, and now I am racing over to get some insulin into ZuZu quick. Such an idiot.

I had been practically living at the ER vet at this point, and now ZuZu definitely needed some sort of intervention. Now, being in the biz we have always tossed around the hydrogen peroxide method of getting a dog to vomit. I have never personally had to do this method because, well, no one at BHV has ever been in this situation. It is mainly a vet thing. But even now they have more efficient ways of making a dog puke.

Jennifer raced to the gas station and got me some hydrogen peroxide. The internet is full of measurements on how much to give. They are all different. All the internet was helpful for was a bit of back and forth and challenges about who knew measurements. My mom won. Paul lost. Luckily, like I had said before, ZuZu is a pig. First, I was using a tiny syringe to squirt it in her mouth, which like, really pissed her off. Next, I mixed cat food in a bowl with an undisclosed amount of HP. She ate that mixture like it was her job. This did make her puke outside, but as I inspected the barf, I knew it wasn’t even close to enough.

I brought Zu inside, and I was standing in the kitchen texting one of the managers at the south store. I looked over and ZuZu projectile vomited all over this rug we have in the kitchen. I was pretty impressed with how far it came out of her mouth, but I was also impressed that I had gotten it out of her. My mom and Jennifer came over to see the vomit. They were looking at me and the vomit only to point out it wasn’t the only vomit in the kitchen. ZuZu had quietly walked behind me prior to her larger vomit and barfed behind me as I stood texting. This vomit had now encased my shoes. Lovely. Then I cooked green bean casserole!

I have never been so happy to get home in my life. Coming home, though, is also a bit daunting because now Christmas time has officially begun.

I write these little blog posts because I don’t think anyone reads them. But if this reaches one of you, JUST ONE… Please, please take my advice. Hide the chocolate.

Merry Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! I will see you all next year with a new blog post about Lemonade. This is our new pet insurance that we just started using at the start of November.